Here is a little photo shoot Jay did of Charlee and I for some mommy/daughter pictures! He did a pretty good job! So just so everyone knows…I love this little girl so unbelievably much!! Motherhood is truly the greatest blessing. There is nothing better. From the moment she was born I couldn’t get over how much I loved her and how much emotion my heart could feel, and even today I am amazed by the same thing. It never gets old. I am so lucky I have the chance to be a stay at home mom because it is the best job in the world. It is even hard for me to keep up with my hobbies only because I just want to play with her and read to her and sing to her every single second of the day! And when she is asleep, I just want to lay next to her! Holidays mean so much more to me now that I have a child to celebrate with than when I was the one receiving the presents, or searching for hidden eggs, or lighting the sparklers, or going trick-or-treating. My face hurts from smiling so much watching her enjoying all of those things I enjoyed when I was a little girl, like meeting new animals, smelling new flowers, and finding joy in the tiniest things! But sometimes it is really hard being a mom! Of course there are the sleepless nights and constant messes, but that is nothing. The thing that is really hard about it is the worry. You literally worry every single day. It gets really exhausting sometimes. I always worry about her in the present and in the future. When I hear of horrible things going on in the world I just want to cry and never let her leave my arms because I know the day will come when I have to let her go. When she goes to school, or to hang out with her friends, or when she gets married. I worry about her getting sick or hurting herself from all her crazy stunts she pulls lately! She is a daredevil that one. And I won’t even begin to touch on the worry a mother has for losing them completely. It’s insane. Being a mom means you also have to make sure you set the best example you can, and teach and raise them the way you want them to be, which means a lot of really hard decision making for you. I haven't had to deal with that aspect of it much yet, but I know I will have to in the future. I just am so excited to have every single day with my precious daughter, and I look forward to all the things I have to experience with her in the future; coming home and helping her with her homework, teaching her how to cook all of our family recipes, watching her in whatever sport or dance class she is in, holding and comforting her while she is sad about kids or even grown-ups being mean (yes even the sad things), teaching her how to be chill when she grows into the "not so nice" stage, giving her hard advice when she asks, or helping her pick out her gown for her wedding day. I look forward to every day I have with her, the good and the bad. All I know is that I am extremely lucky to have her. I have never felt more proud, accomplished, amazed, needed, happy, full of love in my life. She is my everything.
